Mary M. Bauer  Author
“We all have the extraordinary coded inside us, waiting to be released.”     —Jean Houston
pink and gold sunser over silhouetted farm
Inspirational/Self-Help Books
Travel/Nature Books
Be an Encourager
Be an Encourager
Recommended Reads
Mary's Blog
Contact Us
Latest Release
The Truth About You
Hiking Minnesota with Kids

What is an “encourager”?

An encourager is someone who knows who you are—the real you, not just the personality. Encouragers know you are already a pretty cool person and there’s nothing you need do but be yourself. And they’ll tell you that. 

Is an encourager the same thing as a motivator?

No. Encouragers can be motivators, but primarily an encourager always sees your potential—the Divine spark of genius inside you. They have a heartfelt conviction that everything you need to create whatever life you desire is already inside you waiting your recognition. They always encourage you to follow your dreams and go where your heart leads, but they do not set goals for you or provide a plan. They may offer suggestions for building the life of your dreams—they may even ask a few questions to help you discover what it is that feels joyful to you—but they are not your “coach”. However, they never give up on you, even if you give up on yourself.

Encouragers are truthful and will not give false compliments. They know you are God’s greatest miracle and capable of fulfilling your every desire. They tell you to do the thing you are called to do—the thing you are most enthusiastic about, the thing that makes you smile just thinking about it—and never worry about how something will happen. Encouragers know that the “how” always shows up when you follow your heart.

How do I know when I’m in the presence of an encourager?

When you are with an encourager you definitely know it. You feel an incredible enthusiasm for life and your chosen path or purpose. You feel invigorated and hopeful, because you begin to understand that what you think, say, and do matters greatly. You begin to realize that life isn’t just “happening” to you, but rather something you are choosing. You have the power to choose the life of your dreams by doing those things that feel good and right to you. Encouragers help you see that your life can be much more to your liking—that you really are in control. And believe me, this is one major good feeling!

Why should I be an encourager?

I won’t kid you; being an encourager isn’t entirely about helping others. Through the universal principle of cause and effect, encouragers enjoy some wonderful benefits—primarily, what you give, you get.

Everyone, including encouragers, at some point in their lives experience the duo dream killers known as discouragement and doubt. Encouragers need encouragement too, and they get it because they give it.

So, big deal, you might think. So what? Make no mistake; this is a very big deal. Every time an encourager notices the Divine in someone else and speaks up, that divinity is recognized in the encourager by others as well as the universe. This recognition manifests as reality like so: every kindness multiplies and brings even more to the one who gives it; every good deed, every brave action, every positive thought, every encouraging word, every joyful giving, every beautiful moment shared, brings forth the same to the giver with one exception—it is all greatly multiplied.

What you do for another, you do many times over for yourself in the same moment. However, you cannot be what you do not know yourself to be. You must first give away what you want most in your life, and know with your whole heart that it will come back to you multiplied. You cannot get back what you did not give away.

The world needs more encouragers just like you! Why? You are an incredibly unique person unlike anyone who has ever been or who will ever be. There is only one of you—only one. Only you can think your thoughts, say your words, and take your actions. Only you can fulfill your life purpose which is unique to you, but ties in with the purposes of all others. Only you know your purpose. Only you are in a position to help those you come into contact with. Your thoughts, words, and actions may be the perfect catalyst to wake up the life purpose in another.

There are many people who do not know their thoughts, words, and actions help create the world they see and experience. They do not realize how powerful these three creative tools are that belong to them alone. And because they don’t realize they are the powerful creators at the helm of their reality, many people feel afraid. These people are enduring their lives instead of joyfully choosing their lives.

Imagine what the world would look like if everyone consciously chose what they wanted to experience. Do you think anyone would ever consciously choose to be hated, or afraid, or depressed, ill, poverty-stricken, lonely, or any of the other negative realities people now experience?

Encouragers know the best and quickest way for someone to stop hurting is through the discovery of their purpose. They also know a person’s purpose is the thing inside them just begging to be used. It is the thing that fills the person with peace, joy, and enthusiasm—it lights their whole being.

Encouragers simply encourage you to think, say, and do the things that feel good and right to you. They know that if you are true to your purpose, you will feel better and your world will also change for the better. You will experience more joy in your life and less pain. This not only helps you, but helps everyone on the planet. A person in pain cannot help another get out of pain; however, a joyful person knows how to give joy, effectively releasing pain..

If you want people to be kind and understanding toward you, first be kind and understanding to someone else. If you want to experience abundance in your life, be generous and share what you can with others. If you feel depressed, discouraged, or paralyzed with doubt, find someone you can lift up with your words of encouragement.         

How can I become an encourager?

First of all, I want to offer you my heartfelt gratitude. Thank you for stepping onto the path of the encourager. The road is paved with many naysayers right now and it is easy to be swept along with the crowd. Until it becomes as natural for you as breathing, encouraging others will take some conscious intention and vigilant awareness on your part. Begin by consciously remembering that every person who comes into your life is someone who needs your encouragement. With that in mind, here are a few simple suggestions to help you along the way:

  • Greet everyone with a genuine smile and cheerful hello. This seemingly simple act is an important and effective tool in the spreading of global peace. You cannot hate a friend. Never let an opportunity slip by to make a friend, and never shun anyone. Everyone likes and needs to be acknowledged, and rightly so. Your greeting is a statement that you remember everyone is a unique expression of the Divine.
  • When you are in the presence of another, ask yourself this question: What gifts do I give? Always remember, what you give you receive. If you greet another with impatience or a condescending tone, be prepared to receive the very same. Kind words and acknowledgment of a person’s talents or a job well-done are always appreciated. 
  • Be a good listener. Ask yourself: How important do people feel after spending time with me?  Most people just need someone to listen to them. Given the opportunity to voice out loud what they feel, quite often people come to their own realization of what is best for them without a word from you. Your patient, loving silence can be their greatest gift.
  • Don’t take other’s misguided words and pain personally. A person in pain does not realize they are experiencing life through reaction mode rather than choice, and they can choose for themselves something better whenever they want to. This person’s focus is often on their pain, and frequently that’s what they give others—a pain in the keister. However, as an encourager it is up to you to remember that the person’s personality is not who they really are. All people deserve your love and respect, especially those who are hurting. Never add to someone’s suffering.
  • Know when you can encourage someone. Not everyone is ready for encouragement. You cannot know what the right path is for someone else, so it is pointless to judge anyone’s life or experiences. If, while you are encouraging someone, you feel resistance or a loss in energy (tired, sluggish), or the person you are with becomes defensive, stop talking or doing whatever you are doing, and know all people remember who they are in their own time and in their own way. Sometimes the best encouragement you can give someone is to silently wish them well in your heart, and then let go.
  • Remember every person and every circumstance in your life, whether you view it as “good” or “bad”, is a great gift to help you know yourself better. Avoid judging anything. Do not react to the behavior of people or their circumstances. Accept what comes your way and consciously choose your response with your largest and most positive picture in mind.
  • Turn down every opportunity for gossip, and you become the light showing another the way. Gossip is poison and brings harm to everyone involved, including those doing the gossiping. Remember, nothing can come into your life that you don’t first have a belief in. By giving credence to anything negative, you also lay the foundation for it in your own life.
  • Be passionate about your own life. Follow where your heart leads. The heart knows nothing of age or improbabilities; it knows only of joy and freedom. The heart will never steer you wrong. Celebrate your successes and make your own life joyful; others will naturally follow your lead.
  • Be truthful with others as well as yourself. Do not think, say, or do what you do not mean, and never give false praise or criticize anyone; even the youngest child can spot a phony. Cultivate the attitude that there is always something praiseworthy in everyone, for all people are unique. The willingness to appreciate differences in others widens your perspective and promotes your higher evolution. Most people just need someone to spark their divinity fire with some encouragement to follow their hearts, their dreams, and their true passion.

Again, thank you for becoming an encourager—a very necessary and much needed healing profession. I look forward to the day when we are all encouragers and our hurting world has been transformed to one of peace, tolerance, understanding, joy, and unconditional love.

Peace in your day, in your heart, in your life…

Copyright 2006 Mary M. Bauer. All Rights Reserved